Like a cat held tightly–a cat with claws–I generally chafe at being boxed in, metaphorically. I’m not easily labeled. I prefer organic flow, flux.
Except when it comes to tasks.
I’m one of those people you read about who can’t clean the sink because then the whole kitchen needs cleaning, and what’s the point of doing that if you can’t change the sheets and mop up the basement, so the sink doesn’t get done. I can’t grade just a couple of papers and then move on to something else; I’d best get them all done or nothing. This is probably why I can’t do daily cooking chores, either; it’s either got to be a full Thanksgiving spread or I order out for ‘za.
I compartmentalize, and I can’t move from one compartment to the next until the first one’s empty and put on a shelf.
It’s not efficient, it’s not pleasant, and it drives my husband crazy, but there you have it. I’m forty-five years old; change comes hard.
This probably explains why, when I’ve spent the last two months in total limbo over whether or not I’ll have a place to live by my new job, I can’t quite open the “plan for new school year” box until I have the “now completely settled in my new house” empty (save for a scrap or two, perhaps) and put away. As we hope to close on Wednesday (two days from now, but that’s not even settled), and as we’re planning on the actual moving process (I have very little to offer, what with the tendinitis and fibromyalgia and all), so we’re needing to line up help.
My husband, wisely, has said, “Well, it might take a while…we could do it [names possibilities weeks down the road] since we don’t even have our current home on the market, yet.” Perfectly reasonable.
Unless you’re ME.
“AAACCCKKKKK! No! I need to start getting together with my new English colleagues and go over curriculum! I need to plan my new courses, and get my room ready! AAAACCKKKK!!!” (That would be my reply.)
“Um–,” patient Husband responds, with puzzled look, “Can’t that overlap a bit? I mean, you can still get together with your colleagues even if you’re not moved in, right?”
WHAT?!? That would mean HAVING TWO BOXES OPEN AT THE SAME TIME! That’s CRAZY TALK! Nonsense! I have to be moved in, with pictures on the walls and the right rugs on the floor, and everything put away, before I could possibly meet and discuss CURRICULUM and OUTCOMES! What, is he speaking GREEK?!?
Yeah. So that’s where I am right now.
And speaking of open boxes…my house is full of a bazillion of them as we slowly sort and pack. And people wonder why I’m a raving lunatic right now…